I don't often have enough time to write in this blog. I don't have time for the scrapbook. No time for the journal. ugh! she is growing so so so so so fast and every day something new happens. I want to catch the big bits of her life as well as all the small simple things. But I've neglected to note much of it.
That said, I now make time to note that tonight she said my name, Mama, for the first time. Not her first word, which was "Hi", but her first "Mama."
I was in the kitchen stirring Spicy African Peanut soup and she'd been on the bed for a long, boring time waiting for me to come back. Babbling, then Mmmmmmmommmmmmm babble babble mmmmmammmaaa.
It feels unbelievably great.
In other news, she grabs everything, including the glasses from our faces, pens, knitting needles, sharp knives, broken glass from the floor....etc. Talks to strangers on the bus, makes fart sounds, and LAUGHS! The laughter is pretty new too, started last Saturday when I got the hiccups and apparently it was hilarious. Oh, and she's discovered The Vagina. Every diaper change now, the hands shoot down, yup, still there. She's growing up so fast!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
vaccines :(
She had her first official doctor visit today. Since being born, the midwives conducted her first exams, up to 6 weeks. Because I am a slacker mama and because I disagree with much of the modern medical protocol, we missed her 2 month exam and shots. I've known that vaccinations are controversial, but until a few days ago I hadn't done enough research to make an informed decision either way. Which was tricky when certain extended family members were a little bit aggressive with their opinion that she had to get those shots, right away. I defended my lack of a choice as best I could..."I know there are reasons not to get the shots, but I don't know what they are yet." something about autism or other complications, um...
Then another extended family member sent a book with some vaccine information, just in time. We arrived at the doctors armed with a hippy's dirty armpit load of questions, concerns, and special considerations. We could just feel the doctor rolling her eyes on the inside at these granola monsters, as we took her out of the cotton sling, changed her cloth diaper, and requested the vaccines be thimerosol free, metal free, spaced out as much as possible, and that she be given only the necessary vaccines. We opted not to give her the one meant to prevent ear infections, and one other. The doctor, seeming to work with us, advised us not to get polio and one other which is only necessary in third world nations with poor water supplies. She recommended the 3 in one shot and Hib. I'd heard of the 3 in one, Dtp - diptheria, tetanus, pertussis, and agreed that she should get that one. What the doctor failed to make clear was that the 3 in one that she was talking about was DTP, HepB, and Polio all in the same shot. So it was a 5 in one. Which was exactly what I was trying to avoid. She prescribed tylenol to help Edie deal with the pain later, but when we got home and I double checked my info, I found that some doctors advise against Tylenol because it puts too much strain on the baby's liver.
I kind of want to find a new doctor that will be able to spend more time working with us and our concerns, and maybe who approaches health care from a similar point of view - the less is more approach, for one thing. When I said we wanted to space the vaccines out, she acted as if that's what they do already, but I was talking about more frequent visits and less vaccines per visit, while she was referring to the standard vaccine schedule of a group of shots, every two months. But, there was another patient in another room and it was nearing 5 o'clock and there just wasn't time to iron these details out. We did choose not to get the vaccine meant to prevent ear infections. Kenneth wanted to, but I am adamant that she ONLY get vaccinated against life-threatening diseases that she actually has a chance of getting. There are certain vaccines that only make sense if you are traveling to another country, for example.
anyways, she got her first shots and it was awful. The nurse who gave them to her was wearing pants with bright green fish all over them, because her last name is Fish. It was the end of the day, and she kept mixing up the names of the vaccines, so everybody was kind of confused. I started to feed Edie and the nurse stuck her with the first needle. Her face crumpled up and turned crimson and she stopped breathing so she could work up the energy to scream. My eyes got watery right away and Kenneth took her and walked her around the room until she calmed down. I put her back on my breast and she started eating again, and then PAIN! in the other thigh! She shot me a betrayed look before working up another scream, twice as anguished. It. Was. Horrible.
As the nurse cleaned up and left cheerfully, she told me to feed her for a few minutes, to comfort her. Well, Edie knew better. The last two times she'd started to eat, well, bad things happened. So daddy took her again while I got our stuff together and we left. She went right to sleep on the way home, and she and I slept from 9pm until about 10:30 this morning.
Now I am just praying that each weird thing she does is not a sign of brain damage. I know it's unlikely. I know that the link between thimerosol and autism does not exist where there is no thimerosol, (supposedly - I still haven't combed the fine print on the vaccine packaging) and I know I'm being one of THOSE moms - the hyperconcerned conspiracy theory mistrustful of government moms, but shit. If she were to develop one of the negative symptoms of vaccine injections, I will feel like a crappy mama bear who failed to protect the cubbin.
at least she won't get polio.
:(
:(
Then another extended family member sent a book with some vaccine information, just in time. We arrived at the doctors armed with a hippy's dirty armpit load of questions, concerns, and special considerations. We could just feel the doctor rolling her eyes on the inside at these granola monsters, as we took her out of the cotton sling, changed her cloth diaper, and requested the vaccines be thimerosol free, metal free, spaced out as much as possible, and that she be given only the necessary vaccines. We opted not to give her the one meant to prevent ear infections, and one other. The doctor, seeming to work with us, advised us not to get polio and one other which is only necessary in third world nations with poor water supplies. She recommended the 3 in one shot and Hib. I'd heard of the 3 in one, Dtp - diptheria, tetanus, pertussis, and agreed that she should get that one. What the doctor failed to make clear was that the 3 in one that she was talking about was DTP, HepB, and Polio all in the same shot. So it was a 5 in one. Which was exactly what I was trying to avoid. She prescribed tylenol to help Edie deal with the pain later, but when we got home and I double checked my info, I found that some doctors advise against Tylenol because it puts too much strain on the baby's liver.
I kind of want to find a new doctor that will be able to spend more time working with us and our concerns, and maybe who approaches health care from a similar point of view - the less is more approach, for one thing. When I said we wanted to space the vaccines out, she acted as if that's what they do already, but I was talking about more frequent visits and less vaccines per visit, while she was referring to the standard vaccine schedule of a group of shots, every two months. But, there was another patient in another room and it was nearing 5 o'clock and there just wasn't time to iron these details out. We did choose not to get the vaccine meant to prevent ear infections. Kenneth wanted to, but I am adamant that she ONLY get vaccinated against life-threatening diseases that she actually has a chance of getting. There are certain vaccines that only make sense if you are traveling to another country, for example.
anyways, she got her first shots and it was awful. The nurse who gave them to her was wearing pants with bright green fish all over them, because her last name is Fish. It was the end of the day, and she kept mixing up the names of the vaccines, so everybody was kind of confused. I started to feed Edie and the nurse stuck her with the first needle. Her face crumpled up and turned crimson and she stopped breathing so she could work up the energy to scream. My eyes got watery right away and Kenneth took her and walked her around the room until she calmed down. I put her back on my breast and she started eating again, and then PAIN! in the other thigh! She shot me a betrayed look before working up another scream, twice as anguished. It. Was. Horrible.
As the nurse cleaned up and left cheerfully, she told me to feed her for a few minutes, to comfort her. Well, Edie knew better. The last two times she'd started to eat, well, bad things happened. So daddy took her again while I got our stuff together and we left. She went right to sleep on the way home, and she and I slept from 9pm until about 10:30 this morning.
Now I am just praying that each weird thing she does is not a sign of brain damage. I know it's unlikely. I know that the link between thimerosol and autism does not exist where there is no thimerosol, (supposedly - I still haven't combed the fine print on the vaccine packaging) and I know I'm being one of THOSE moms - the hyperconcerned conspiracy theory mistrustful of government moms, but shit. If she were to develop one of the negative symptoms of vaccine injections, I will feel like a crappy mama bear who failed to protect the cubbin.
at least she won't get polio.
:(
:(
Monday, May 5, 2008
When you were born, your matted curls of hair dried into feathery spikes of tiger down. Tiger because it was dark brown, almost black, except for where it sizzled golden at the tips. It was arranged in a perfect mohawk, perfect because you were born on Mohawk street in the darkest hour of the morning. Today that fuzzy head of yours smells like yellow curry, and your once tigery hair now has the distinct flavors of saffron, cinnamon, and turmeric in the sunlight.
This is all you will let me write, right now. My tiny dictator who will only sleep upon a bed of flesh, warm and breathing. Your throne, my lap. It is time for another airplane ride, you scream.
This is all you will let me write, right now. My tiny dictator who will only sleep upon a bed of flesh, warm and breathing. Your throne, my lap. It is time for another airplane ride, you scream.
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